Who am I and what is the nature of reality?

In my twenties, long before I was consciously aware of the ET presence on Earth, a series of events transpired that made me acutely aware my concept of reality was inadequate. As with all of humanity, it was the frustration and pain of my inability to make sense of the world that got my attention. From that point forward, I became a seeker of truth. Over the next decade I took a searching and fearless inventory of my own psyche and my relationship to the cosmos at large, and as that analysis progressed an insatiable curiosity to understand the world grew within me. I would no longer take circumstances at face value as I recognized law, order and intelligence behind all creation. Determined to hone my ability to focus and analyze circumstances, my consciousness was beginning to wake up.

As the years flowed by I investigated metaphysics, the fundamental nature of reality and the cosmos through books and classes. I pursued religious and spiritual studies that included to varying degrees Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism and the new age spiritual philosophy of Science of Mind. At the same time, I was mesmerized by the workings of the human mind and emotions, eventually reading many dozens of books on psychology and personal growth. As my trust in the universe and how it works was growing, I included in my studies natural health and healing methods that included the ancient Indian Vedic traditions.

By the time I reached my late thirties, although I recognized the duality of life I felt confident that underlying all appearances, there was logic. I considered myself to be fairly grounded with a reasonable grasp of a reality that I knew was immense and beyond my comprehension.  I had come to trust a loving and infinite intelligence that I felt quite connected to. I never believed this intelligence to be a single entity that was lord and master, but rather an Energy of Intelligence of which I was a part. I also believed that I could call upon and bring to bear upon positively circumstances in my life which promoted a measure of confidence, and I saw myself on the road of Infinite Possibility. As for whether or not humanity was alone in the universe, I could only imagine the Creative Intelligence would be infinite in expression in that arena as well, but I had never spent time investigating that topic.

A dramatic shift in reality takes place.

In June of 1991, while camping overnight in a remote area north of Sedona, Arizona my life and my concept of reality changed forever. Because the park we had stopped at was officially a day park, there had been no other campers or vehicles in the area. At approximately 2:00 a.m. I was fully conscious and awake as I had been sitting upright for several minutes after having awakened to suspicious sounds outside. Suddenly, the back door of the van swung upright and the lights went on inside, temporarily blinding me. In a couple of seconds, my eyes adjusted and I saw reaching towards me a thin, grey arm with a hand that possessed only three fingers and a thumb. On the tip of each finger appeared to be a small indentation or suction cup of sorts.

When reality makes a sudden and dramatic shift, the unprepared person interprets the intrusive event as violent and life threatening, causing mental shock and emotional paralysis to set in. As adrenaline rushed through my body, my heart raced and I found it impossible to fully grasp what was happening. My mind was desperate to identify and categorize the event, to find a foothold on which to maintain my sanity and control. I lost consciousness for about a minute, and when I regained consciousness I found myself standing barefoot at the end of the van with the door above me and the lights still emanating from the vehicle. I was paralyzed in an upright position with my chin tucked toward my chest and my arms hanging straight at my sides. To the left and right of me were what appeared to be bald children, as I had no knowledge or reference of extraterrestrials. Although I could not raise my head to look forward, I felt someone large and powerful was standing right in front of me whom I sensed was in command of the situation. Emotionally terrified and unable to comprehend what was happening, I felt myself raise several inches off the ground and move forward. Being able to see downward to the left and right I could see that the two “children” had placed their hands directly under my hands and, without touching me, were somehow levitating me and moving me forward. As we slowly moved forward over the dirt ground, I could see the light from the vehicle dissipate from behind me; we were moving through the woods toward a much brighter light that I could see shining on the ground as we approached a craft.

I was returned to the van about 3:30 a.m. I could hear a soft whishing sound as I was dropped back onto my sleeping bag in the van in a sitting position; it was as if I had been dropped right through the top of the van as all the doors to the vehicle were closed and no lights were on. Weeping and bordering on hysteria, my mind raced insanely as I tried to comprehend what had just happened. All the while, despite shaking her and yelling for her to wake up, my friend remained unconscious until dawn. (Years later while under regression hypnosis she appeared frightened as she relived that night, but refused to discuss with the therapist what she had experienced, if anything.) At sunrise she awoke and we discussed the event superficially as we searched the area for my personal belongings which had mysteriously disappeared, although nothing else had been taken from our camp. Understanding that I had been traumatized, my friend agreed to shorten our trip and we returned shortly thereafter to home in California. Thus began a fifteen-year period of intense ET contact that remained a secret, known only by my friend and memorialized in the dozens of journals where I detailed the contacts with extraterrestrials and later military.  

After years of living two separate lives, I had gone in and out of denial many times about my ET contact, preferring to avoid that aspect of my life as much as possible. Other than my occupation and hobbies, it was a point in my life where there were minimal distractions so it became more difficult to ignore the intrusion into my life. Not having a victim mentality, I became more angry and frustrated until I “hit bottom” and decided to take a stand to get my personal power back.

Reality expands to infinity.

Throughout our lives, shifts in our perception of reality occur naturally as we move through childhood into adulthood. In the best-case scenario, we would develop an interest in knowing how life works. Our interests would expand, and we would willingly investigate the information at our disposal with a flexible attitude, developing a greater perspective that would enhance our life. Unfortunately, many people are faced with challenging events that cause them to withdraw, to become complacent and instead of seeking to understand, they unconsciously create a comfort zone that suggests a measure of safety. Comfort zones, while practical in many instances can also promote ignorance and stagnation.

Personally, although I had considered myself to be a very open-minded and rather courageous person, I am stunned when I look back on the fifteen years that I remained complacent regarding the reality of extraterrestrials on Earth. Try as I might to avoid the subject and my own expanding perception, I could not. The shift that began so dramatically would not be denied. I attended my first meeting of the Mutual UFO Network in Orange County, California in 2004, met psychotherapist and researcher Barbara Lamb, and broke through the boundaries of my self-imposed comfort zone. As I told my truth and came out into the open about my contact, I fought a new fear - the fear of ridicule and being ostracized. At the same time, I also felt a sense of relief that I had long sought through denial, but I found instead through facing the truth.

I knew so little about UFOs or extraterrestrials, and never did I imagine there were thousands of people on the planet also having contact experiences. I learned that there were dedicated researchers, investigators, authors and experiencers; I was no longer alone! The secret that had chased me for so many years became a motivator that would bring me greater knowledge, awareness and purpose. Slowly over the next five years I adapted and expanded my view of reality to include the fact that we are not alone in the universe. As my reality expanded, so did my compassion and commitment to the planet and to all living beings. Conservation, new technology and bringing to an end the political and military chains that stop humanity’s progress became a focus. Like so many others who are devoted to truth and the exploration of the cosmos, I feel an obligation to do all that I can to support the evolution of human consciousness. This is a progression that will not be denied if we are to become cosmic citizens which, I believe, is our destiny.  

Redefining Reality – Article Written for JAR Magazine
Copyright © 2017 Nadine Lalich